For the past five years, Kairos has been hosting an online Parents Forum addressing challenges posed by the modern cultural environment we live in. This year, our topic was Raising Free Sons and Daughters. In an age of personal media devices and cultural individualism, both parents and youth struggle to live a life that is free and generous amidst our modern culture. As Christians, we know that freedom is the capacity and ability to choose for what is truly good, and true freedom is ordered toward truth, goodness, and human flourishing.
Our culture, however, often presents a thinner version of freedom – equating happiness with unlimited choice and self-expression. Passive media consumption erodes our ability to create and freely use our time. Digital AI, when overused, can diminish our capacity for critical thinking and pull us away from what is real and human. A growing trend of safety-first consciousness is removing our children’s ability to grow resilience. Jonathan Haidt (The Anxious Generation) talks about the dangers of this over-emphasis:
“Children require exposure to setbacks, failures, shocks, and stumbles in order to develop strength and self-reliance.”
Scripture reminds us that perseverance and maturity are forged through trials, not avoidance of them – “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4. Freedom and safety are not mutually exclusive, but the conditions you have to create to guarantee safety are at odds with the opportunities needed to develop freedom.
And yet, we have great hope! Enriching friend groups and family life can provide a place to counteract these challenges. Here
are some ideas you could try:
- Ask the question – ‘What are the inputs forming my child’s understanding of themselves, the world, and God?’. Find stories that point toward virtue and truth, and surround them with real-life models of mature, faithful people.
- Look for fun opportunities to build freedom. Aim for age-appropriate opportunities, involving some level of risk, responsibility and/or boredom. This allows youth to practice choosing the good, even when it involves struggle or failure.
- Find time for more relaxed, open conversation. Youth should not feel the need to guard everything they say or be defensive, they should be open handed and free in conversation.
We hope these simple yet profound steps can draw our youth closer to a life that is truly free, joyful and courageous in serving the Lord! As always, thank you for your support!
